you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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