no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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