Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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