I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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