I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
