Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Randomize