I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.