...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.