She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me