dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.