Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?