Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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