you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
