I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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