Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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