Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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