well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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