I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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