Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
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You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
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A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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