Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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