Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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