who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
