Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
