i would punch a child for taco bell
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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