I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
