I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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