so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
