I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
