I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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