My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
