I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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