Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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