How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize