Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
