Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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