Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize