And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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