...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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