they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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