I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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