I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
