There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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