i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you didnt know i had herpes?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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