handjob tips. give me some.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
