exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
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Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
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You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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