He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
