and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
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I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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