Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize