wakey wakey hands off snakey
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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