He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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