If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
