Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
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she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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