Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad

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(207): View more from Maine

You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.

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(443): View more from Maryland

she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.

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(217): View more from Illinois

she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work

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(505): View more from New Mexico

You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"

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(319): View more from Iowa

I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...

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