He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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